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3 Reasons You Should Definitely Not Put Beef Tallow on Your Face (Unless You’re Cool with Glowing Like a Dewy Goddess)

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Let’s get this straight: smearing beef tallow on your face sounds like something your great-grandma did before Botox and serums became a thing. But here’s the terrifying twist—it turns out great-grandma was onto something.

If you’ve been slathering your face with trendy, overpriced jars of perfumed water and still waking up drier than your ex’s apologies… read on (or don’t, if you’re really committed to your crusty lifestyle).

START GLOWING NOW

1. You Actually Like Having 14 Skincare Steps

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Why settle for one cream that hydrates, smooths fine lines, and strengthens your skin barrier when you could clutter your counter with half a Sephora aisle? The Everything Cream simplifies your entire routine into one jar and that’s offensive if you enjoy chaos. Plus, it even works on your hair. Ugh, efficient.

CANCEL YOUR SERUM LINEUP

2. You’re Emotionally Attached to Dry Patches

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Tallow, colostrum, and mango butter team up in this stuff to give your skin actual hydration without clogging your pores. How dare they? No flaky forehead, no mysterious breakouts, just calm, glowy skin. Honestly, it’s suspicious. What’s next, world peace?

BYE BYE SNAKE SKIN

3. You Were Counting on Aging to Win

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This cream stimulates collagen and restores your microbiome. So not only do you start looking smoother, firmer, and more even-toned, but your skin also feels like itself again, just 10 years younger. Frankly, if you enjoy panic-buying retinol every 3 months, skip this.

TAKE THAT, FINE LINES

Final Thoughts (and a Little Bribe)

If you must try this weirdly amazing all-in-one moisturizer that makes your skin feel like velvet and makes your mirror double-take... fine. But don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Special Offer (for rebels only):

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Grab yours now and let the compliments roll in—or don’t. It’s your glow crisis.

SHOP EVERYTHING CREAM NOW